From Doing to Being: Finding Harmony in the Chaos of Parenting

There is so much to do and so little time. How do we show up for the people we love (and get sh*t done)?

Today I spoke with a father of three who was feeling the weight of his responsibilities. Between work, home, and the endless to-do lists, he was struggling with guilt–guilt for not having enough time to connect one-on-one with each of his children, and with his wife. Like many working parents I speak with, he was struggling with slowing down, knowing there were so many things that needed to be done.

We live in a constant state of “doing”—checking boxes, making decisions, managing logistics. But in the rush, harmony often eludes us. We lose touch with the heart of why we do what we do: love, connection, presence.

So how do we shift from the headspace of doing to the heartspace of being?

1. Start with Awareness

Ask yourself:

Am I operating from a place of urgency or intention?
What’s one moment today where I can pause and be fully present?

Awareness is the first step. When we notice we’re stuck in “doing mode,” we can choose to pause, even if briefly, and reconnect with ourselves and those around us.

2. Redefine Connection

Connection doesn’t always require hours of uninterrupted time. It can be found in small, intentional moments:

A 5-minute chat at bedtime.
A shared laugh over breakfast.
A quick text to your partner saying, “Thinking of you.”

Ask:

What’s one small way I can show up for each person I care about today?

3. Manage Expectations with Compassion

We often hold ourselves to impossible standards. The perfect parent, the perfect partner, the perfect professional. But perfection isn’t the goal—presence is (at least that is what my coaching clients tell me they want).

Ask:

What expectations am I holding that might be unrealistic?
What would it look like to offer myself grace today?

4. Integrate Being into Doing

It’s not about stopping everything. It’s about how we show up in the doing. Can we bring our hearts into the tasks? Can we breathe, listen, and feel—even while we get things done?

When my kids were little, I always felt rushed and oftentimes treated bedtime like a task. I wanted to get back to doing…clean the kitchen, answer emails, you know the drill. In hindsight, the best bedtimes (for the kids and me) were the ones where I slowed down, read an extra book, and forgot about what had to be done.

Ask:

How can I bring more heart into a task I do frequently?
What does being look like in the middle of my busy day?

Bottomline: Baby steps. Make small changes. Do them consistently and they will turn into habits.

Did the dad leave with a new perspective? I’m not sure. What I noticed was he moved from his head to his heart in the course of our call. To me, that was a win!

Categories: : Reflections